Motherhood is a Setback
Does anyone else simultaneously scroll through tik tok and wonder why they are scrolling through tik tok as if real, actual life hasn’t already placed it’s precious time under copious demand? I know it’s not just me…
One of these such times, I happened upon the video of a mom who had toddlers wondering aloud how we are possibly supposed to do anything we want to do when our time is spoken for pretty much 24 hours a day 366 days a year (even when it’s not a leap year). She mused about how she was a bit older and the unfairness she felt having to have all of the moments of her day spoken for - how was she to accomplish anything? Or feel fulfilled as a woman apart from motherhood?
And before anyone danes to judge this perplexed woman, I have to out myself - I’ve been in that very same boat, I just hadn’t submitted these queries to strangers in the internetz.
I understand it though, because I’ve always felt called to purpose, to work, to achieve. Admittedly, I almost let that keep me from even having a kid - I’m very glad I didn’t.
That call to achieve in itself, however, is ok. If it’s in you, it’s because God put it there - but, unchecked, we can let the world influence the importance we place on achievement outside of God’s purpose for our season. If He has given you kids - you are in kid season, sis. And it’s uncomfortable sometimes - but discomfort doesn’t mean wrong - it means your flesh is bein fleshy and you gotta decide if you’re going to give in to it or go to God for the proper perspective. And, if you’re anything like me - some weeks you’re really great at that, and some days you have to remind yourself a couple of times that you need to take some stuff to the altar because you’re doing too much.
As I walk through this myself, God continues to be faithful and reveal ways to approach this season of life. Here are some thoughts I’d like to share with you:
Realize you have God-given responsibilities and self-given responsibilities.
Sometimes we make an idol out of “calling” - when what we are really longing for is from someone to affirm our abilities, work and achievements. Affirmation is not bad - but when we seek it at the expense of our God-given responsibilities (family and home particularly) we are out of alignment. Your calling or work is not your savior. God is. When we are humble enough to accept that the work he has put in front of us at present is the work we need to attend to - he promises to be faithful in the rest of it. 1 Peter 5:6
Serving your family IS serving God.
No matter how mundane the task or weather or not any one will notice or thank you is of no consequence. We want so badly sometimes to be in service to God, we miss the fact that he has given us the opportunity every day. We are to be Christ’s representative - that counts at home just as much (if not more) than anywhere else. When Christ called us to Himself and, also, to be a light on a hill - he didn’t say it would come with perks or thanks or any manner of glamor. And sometimes we forget the tallest hill resides in our home. We can decide to rejoice in all the opportunities we have to present an image of Christ to those around us. Colossians 3:17
Honor the Season You’re In.
I heard this amazing quote from what I would consider a successful working mother. It humbled me, disappointed me and freed me all at once, “You CAN have it all - just not at the same time.” We have to recognize as moms, that our life seasons ebb and flow with that of the small human we produced. It can certainly be frustrating. But when we accept the season we are in instead of trying to wish or work it away - it provides us freedom. We will have all God has ordained for us - in its proper time. But every season requires us to honor the work in front of us, not the work we wish we had instead. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
God STILL knows the plan he has for me - and He’s STILL working on it
We are the only ones who see things, particularly motherly duties, as an “interruption.” To you it’s a “detour,” to Him it’s design. Can you imagine? What if God was sitting in heaven just pressed, flipping through His notes because you having a baby was not on His bingo card and now He don’t know what to do. Girl. He is choosing your steps. Always has been. And still. Proverbs 16:9
His plan includes rest. It’s a whole commandment after all.
I had this awful cycle of being so tired I could barely remember my own name and, when I had the opportunity to actually sit down or sleep, I would grab some caffeination and think that I needed to push myself - it’s the only way things were going to get done. But there will always be things. And God’s plan included the rest he already knew you would need. So just take it and ask God to help you stop making productivity an idol. Psalm 127
Our fulfillment is only found in Christ.
You will never be, do, have enough to feel like you finally reached where we are “supposed” to be. Where you are supposed to be is in His presence & His will. That’s where contentment lives. Chasing it anywhere else is a lie.
Philippians 4:11-13
Motherhood is not a setback. It is a precious, God-given opportunity to serve Him in a holy task, in a holy season. Not only is it not a setback, it is a set up for a new level of sanctification.
