Not All Women Aspire to be Humble
It is interesting to me, what our greater culture latches on to as a rallying point - to eschew some norm that should be unseated as such. This, though, this one is almost a too obvious 1 Corinthians 2:14 situation, like it was penned by mediocre sitcom writers as a trope to teach an obvious lesson. The only difference is there is no wink, no nod. No irony.
It’s a bad thing to be humble now. Who knew?
This seems like it could make sense. Entire albums have been expertly produced lifting up the “I” of it all by captivating lyrical concepts that deliver us, melodically unaware, to lies. A chanteuse sings how they are “that girl” in front of literal millions, dropping this, shaking that - applause for former church girls gone idol. Sacrilege can sound so harmlessly sweet over a slick beat, as it turns out.
All in the name of feeling confidently sufficient - needing only ourselves, our knowledge, our understanding for firm footing and sure success. Isn’t it interesting how the enemy puts one new name on Genesis 3 tricks. Imitating being a god instead of imitating the One who Is.
Leaving many of us thinking that worshiping at the altar of “I” is a praiseworthy endeavor. A cacophony of curated calf culture floating from Spotified speakers.
The opposite of humility is not confidence, as it has been sold to us, it is pride. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble (James 4:6).
Pride is, in fact, a tool to make oneself great - to lift ourselves up amongst others. But, if I truly believe in One greater than myself, what an exercise in futility and an actual impossible task. If I do the lifting, I must also do the carrying and maintaining, all while I inhabit the land of “they.” What will they think? What will they say? What if they don’t like..? Is this enough - am I enough yet? This is a heavy, arduous burden to bear. I know because at one time in my life it almost broke me.
One of the innumerable reasons I’m grateful for a gracious Savior who delivers.
We should not fear being “less than” in man's eyes - who has no bearing on what our life does or does not amount to. We should fear, however, being opposed by the One who holds our future in His hands - eternity included. To willingly vacillate between favored or opposed by God - that’s wild, unwise work.
Conversely, if we completely cut others out of the picture - the “I don’t need to care about what anyone else thinks but me” line of thought, we find ourselves, again, in opposition. If we’re busy being great, the whole of Romans 12 is out of reach. And if we adopt that mindset, we’re unlikely to think anyone knows better than us - leaving us to Proverbs 12:15 all over ourselves. Using all we know and who we think we are to be cuttingly critical of those who share the Image we bear. Foolish.
So, with this in mind, perhaps we start with giving this word its accurate due.
Humility is not the abandonment of confidence, it is the evidence of confidence correctly placed.
It is a sober view of self in light of who God is and what He’s done - the only appropriate response.
The “quickest” way (quotations included as I can attest to you this is a beautifully layered process that takes the time God requires) to gain confidence can be summed up in two words: believe God.
What if you believed God? What if you read Ephesians 1 + 2 and believed it? What if you believed that the God of the universe saved you because you are worth saving in His eyes as His beloved. Thanks be to Him. What if you accepted that you are His masterpiece for making for His purpose - not your own. Being called to be like Jesus (Romans 8:29) and subsequently rejecting one of His sacred attributes - the reason You and I have any hope at all (Philippians 2:3-11) - can only be chalked up to unholy hubris.
I know every book on the shelf and podcast available will tell you that loving yourself more is the major key - but yourself has hung no stars, has spoken no galaxies into existence, and yesterday got your sweatshirt stuck on a doorknob amidst rushing here or there and you cursed the day you were born. So, I submit that buying into your own wonderful is actually quite limiting.
To quote a life-changing book:
“True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversion, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings….
Are we talking about high-self esteem? No. So it’s low self-esteem? Certainly not. It is not about self-esteem. Paul simply refuses to play that game. He says ‘I don’t care about your opinion but, I don’t care that much about my opinion’ - and that is the secret.
A truly gospel-humble person is not a self-hating person or a self-loving person, but a gospel-humble person. The truly gospel-humble person is a self-forgetful person whose ego is just like his or her toes. It just works. It does not draw attention to itself. The toes just work; the ego just works. Neither draws attention to itself.
”
And wouldn’t we have a better world if we all thought, “What has the Lord given me to make you better,” instead of, “what due can I give myself to make me better?” This is how, if you question any decent someone, they would say they want our planet to operate. It just always astounds me how we try to live out gospel truths by-way of godless methods.
The Truth, though, (because isn’t that what we’re looking for in all this?) is that Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 ) And what is the fear of the Lord? Well, Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life. (Proverbs 22:4) and since “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11) It makes sense that When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2).
So, let me both confirm and reframe this for us once and for all:
Yes, not all women aspire to be humble.
Every wise woman, however, does.
